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Friday, October 26, 2007

It hurts and it hurts

To be unable to feel fully refreshed and injury-free even after one month of returning from injury, feels very depressing and frustrating. Not only being unable to return fit, but getting an injury at the wrong period of time makes it even more upsetting. Having only a short period of time of only one month, to recover back and to try regaining back the fitness is tough and it's something hard to do.

I failed to come back feeling refreshed and fit. After that one month lay-off, I still have some pains here and there in my leg when I kick. It's such an extreme setback. Everything's not going well for me, not at this period of time. I hate to have the feeling of being unfit, to know that there's something holding you back from playing, to know that you will be unable to enjoy yourself when you are kicking soccer, a sport that you have so much passion for for already so long.

The injury weaken thy-self, in many ways. First, is having to rest, secondly, is not being able to get out and kick soccer and thirdly, is having to sit out in many friendlies which means only watching the game. To want to get out and be challenged, I can't do it because I'm not allowed to, only after one month ends. Indeed, I was stubborn. I did try to get on the field during one of the trainings during camp, to get the feel of the ball, I did. I was crazy, I couldn't wait, I was impatient. That, resulted in more pain the following day and yes, I regretted for my actions. I extended my lay-off to another day but did it help? No. I came back still with the same pain, though less painful as compared to before.

I struggled in that remaining one month left, tried and tried and the kicks were all nothing but shit. I couldn't kick well, I couldn't even run well with the ball, after months of practice, before I succumbed to my injury. I lost everything, I can't even get the ball in the air. I can't get a good first touch. I was disappointed in not being able to do well. I didn't have the drive to succeed and try because I failed after trying time and again. I got tired of trying.

I've lost half the battle, losing 3/4 of my troops to death because none of us brought a shield to the war. the 3/4 of them died as a result of having no shields and the remaining 1/4 of them ran for cover, hiding in the bushes, hoping to be able to survive this battle. I'm near defeat, almost touching the ground of defeat, just half-inch away. I can't get up, I can't stand up, I'm starting to be weak, to feel weak.

I'm tired of everything, I'm tired of trying. All I can do is to cry because I know that my soccer career is near over.

"All I see is a fighter. A captain who fought for the IG when it was nth. A leader who strived for the best of e team. A player who observes training in spite of injury. An individual who demands excellence. Gather your thoughts, do yourself some justice. For all of e above, I see a winner in u."

It's just not the same anymore, I'm sorry...

2:27 PM